Cooking and Cleaning Literally Aided Human Evolution
The dirty dishes are not only a chore, they are the tools that fill our bellies. They are the holders of childhood memories. Our children will not remember every meal. One day they will smell something that feels like home. They won’t know how much stress deciding every meal caused you. One day they will see a dish at a friend's house that makes them smile. They won’t understand why you spend so much time in the kitchen. One day they will share meals with others because opening our kitchen to others was just the thing we did. They may wish we just ordered Mc’donalds tonight. One day they will lend a hand in the kitchen when invited over for dinner. They may not be chefs, but they will know their way with a knife, and know how to make a meal out of nothing.
We have all attempted to reframe the mundane routines to help us get through yet another night time kitchen cleaning, weekend laundry marathon, or kids toys deep clean. “Dirty dishes means we had food to eat”. Yet, we’re still constantly frustrated and overwhelmed and wondering when it will all be over. When will our kids stop being so messy? Actually, when will I stop being so messy?
Yesterday morning as I started a batch of coffee and my partner put away the clean dishes, I started to think about a “simple life”. A life where literally cleaning up after ourselves and feeding ourselves didn't feel like such a burden. How is it that us humans have “advanced” living to a point where actual living and self care is burdensome? Why am I so stressed about bills and politics that I don't have the mental or physical capacity to load and unload the dishwasher without an attitude? Why am I so overwhelmed with too many “extracurriculars” that my house looks just as scattered as my brain trying to schedule it all, cook balanced meals, workout, read, maintain intimacy in my relationship, and not skip showers?
So what I want to do for my family is slow down. Actually enjoy living, cleaning, cooking, slow mornings, screen free time, and being okay in boredom. I don’t want them to think that having a family is this overwhelming burdensome responsibility. I want them to think of it as building their own source of comfort, support, and a safe space to live. A space to do the mundane over and over, because eating and cleaning is what has always kept us alive as a human race. The extra stuff is just that, extra.
I am reading a homeschool book, Modern Miss Mason, and she talks about observing the atmosphere in our home because it is part of the learning our children are doing on a daily basis. They will absorb the atmosphere we provide and carry it to their own families in the future. In this context, the atmosphere is not referencing the color scheme of your playroom, or the pattern wallpaper you spent too many hours deciding on. Atmosphere is the way in which our beliefs, attitudes, political views, the content we ingest, our hobbies and special interests impact our day to day. I know I don't want my children to inherit a sense of hurry, dread of living responsibilities, stress, and procrastination. I want them to maintain a sense of wonder for learning. I want them to be joyful and happy even when there is “nothing” to do. I think these desires are better modeled than taught explicitly.
So I have to curate an atmosphere I am proud of. I have to create a vision board of what my home atmosphere will be and add it to this post eventually.
